Music has always been complicated for me. First I didn’t take it seriously enough, then I took it so seriously I burned out on it for years… twice. So this year I’m playing again, challenging myself in big ways and trying to move past the imperfections that seem more important to me than they are to others. Today I played my five shows, plus sitting in a bit with Bruno, and practicing new music backstage, including for the Hallelujah Chorus for which I subbed at the end of the day. It wasn’t perfect, but I nailed to “too many notes” parts I was worried about. I’m hoping these successes will help keep me from the self-sabotage I am prone to. For now though, I’m crashing way early so I can be up at 7:00am (appalling for a night person) and be in costume and onstage at 10:30 again tomorrow morning.